Talk To Me

…. But not on the phone!

You see, I have this thing against talking on phone. Especially when I’m talking to someone for the first time, I’d rather talk face to face. You see, it becomes very difficult (or so I assume) to imagine what I must be looking like in real if you talk to me on phone. I, erm, sound like a 2 year old. Okay. So, I’ve said it. Whew. My voice. There is something in my voice that makes me sound sooooooooo… young, almost kiddish! When I was in 7^th Std, someone, who had ONLY heard me over the telephone, had offered me a dubbing role in one cartoon. He thought I was in 2^nd Std or something and my Dad had a tough time convincing him that I really WAS 5 years older than what he thought. When he showed our Kullu-Manali trip pictures to everyone in his office (in the same year), all those who had heard my voice (I was a regular caller, “ May I talk to blah blah, pleeeaaasee” I literally used to sing this line out. Okay, this once when I was in 3^rd Std, I had called my Mom’s office and the convo went something like this… “May I talk to my mother, please” “ Who is this?” “I’m my mother’s daughter” “Hahahahh. And who is your mother?” “Oh! Erm.. she’s [name]” *blushing red and crimson*) were expecting to see a toddler or something perhaps because they were shocked to see such a grown up 11 year-old!

This voice problem of mine (which at times turns out to be a good thing as well. S says she and others find it hard to believe that I can ever be rude (even when I AM rude) because no matter what I say, it sounds very ‘sweet’. Right. Now THAT must be a surprise to you all. Acidic BlogOwner isn’t REALLY that acidic, then. Hah!) has been thoroughly tested by me. I was always the voice on the answering machine at home, so, *sigh*, I have heard it many, MANY times. I have even recorded my own conversations with TC and Abhu, where I’ve purposely thrown in all sorts of voice maneuvers or whatever (like giggles, expressions of indignation, horror, etc) just to hear what I sound like. Was I shocked! I do sound…. Cute, may be. But erm.. I sound like a very, very, VERY smart, intelligent and discerning 6 year old.

(The above is applicable only when I’m in a normal frame of mind and body and I’m not down with cold or fever or hysteria or something.)

My second problem with phone conversation is that there is no facility to ‘pause’. One has to keep talking. Blank phases make you sound stupid. You can’t multitask or talk to 5 people at once or pretend to be absorbed by the beauty of the lettuce sandwich kept on the table when you’re on the phone. You just HAVE to……talk.

Problem number three is that if the line is *bleep*ed up then you have to keep going like “Pardon?” “Sorry?” “er.. WHAT?” and pretend that you’ve heard what they’re saying and feign a “Er.. Okay..” or “Hmm..” or better yet, a little “Hmehemmehe” which is “Hmm” in a giggly way, so that works at all times, in all situations, except when the other person is asking you a question.

So. Yes. Don't call me, okay? IMing is SO much fun! You can send smileys and winks and nudges and whatnot. We should take advantage of such technological advances, innit?

P.S.: Okay so half the post has been written within pairs of parentheses. I had no other place to fit those!

P.S.2: My voice isn't THAT kiddish, also. I think I've exagerrated a little, but who cares?! Same thing!