Friday, November 14, 2008

They may say Gil doesn’t exist, but well, he does. They may say Diana doesn’t exist, but she does. They may say they’re only fictional characters, but this fiction is that fictional character’s reality. So if one person could imagine this to be real, it can be and is real. Probably only Gil and Diana realise that they exist in someone’s reality. I’m sure at least one person would agree with me and another smile and say, “Very magical indeed”. Weaving fiction into reality is most enjoyable. Thank you very much.

So when you generally go out shopping with the girls, who aren’t particularly that interested in shopping and window shopping (important: window shopping is as important for the soul as shopping itself is!, with some girls and non-girls (who are almost automatically disqualified as shopping company), you, as a person who thrives on retail therapy cannot satisfy yourself to the optimal extent with the resources (time and cash, which, by the way, are always limited) you have. So you must get rid of these barriers. SOO, spend some alone time and hit the shops!

Imagine yourself in a street full of shops, the glimmer, the bustle, people eating ice-cream, randoms wearing funny things, some very well dressed people, all on their own way. Soak in all the products all around you. The sight of wonderful clothes, that LBD (Little Black Dress which you MUST buy when you grow up and earn pots of gold), those Swarovski studded shoes, that pretty beige sweater, those gorgeous plum bags. As you walk past these shops, it’s all a blur when you also try to absorb the fragrance of delicious perfume , clothes , bags and shoes. So what is one to do when she’s overcome with all the wonderful things on earth that money can buy? She must follow a three pronged strategy to maximise utility of an afternoon or evening in the midst of shopper-land.

Step I: Breeze past the streetJustify Full

Soak it all in, woman. Soak-it-in. FEEL it. Walk up the street and mentally short list a couple of places that you MUST spend a lot of time at and some that you would like to explore. For instance, every time I do this, I MUST visit an Archies and absorb all the stationery around and perhaps even buy letter papers (my favourite stationery article). It’s amazingly soothing. SO well, now that you have mentally shortlisted your targets, stop at the end of the street and turn around :)

And then it begins…

Step II: Close (read: Open) your eyes (read: eyes and ears and olfactory nerves) and take it all in

Enter your shop and look around first. If you intend to buy something specific then go ahead and try out whatever it is that you want. Meanwhile, be extremely perceptive to everything else around you. The soft, elegant lighting of exquisite stores, the special dim lighting of craft and soap stores and the jing-bang lights of the big malls. The fresh fruity smell in Pepe stores, the serious and strong i-need-that-in-a-perfume-bottle fragrance in a KBN type shop. So you know, retail therapy is not only about shopping random things. It’s about the experience. Everything counts.

Don’t spend too much time in one shop though, unless it’s absolute heaven of course. Malls are therefore a good place to spend an afternoon. Because of risk diversification, they generally have a number of different types of stores. So you can get a taste of everything! However, covering a street with assorted shops gives you the illusory satisfaction of having ‘covered more’. Well, both are okay as long as it’s therapeutic!

Street shopping is wonderful but it’s wholly different. The satisfaction that you derive from that is not really about the ‘experience’ but about the end result (your bounty). However, shop-shopping and WSing is pure therapy because it’s a delight for all your senses. It’s like a spa treatment, if not better! Well, I’ll write about street shopping in another post. Worry not!

Don’t be afraid to pick up that face wash here and the lip gloss there to read the exciting little story that they usually print on the back about how it smells delicious and makes your skin soft and supple and you will have not a single misery in your life if you use this product. Certainly go ahead and try out those delicate black shoes! Yes, even if you can’t afford it! The point is to be in the moment and feel like a princess. So be there, do that. But don’t ‘lose yourself’ in the moment and forget about it. HOLD on to it. Picture yourself in those shoes whenever you’re feet aren’t feeling pretty :) Smile at yourself in the mirror and feel happy about your existence! Just stand there and look around. Again, soak it in.

Step III: Imagine, wonder and BUY!

Depending on how much cash you have, buy a little souvenir or so from almost every shop you go to. Shopping is almost like travelling, yes! And BlogOwner loves both :) If you can’t buy something, it’s alright. Few years from now, when you’ll be earning pots of gold, come back and buy that, alright?! Experience it now, then own it :)

THAT, girls and boys, is retail therapy. Not just entering a departmental store and buying toothpaste and soap (though that can also be turned into a very, very satisfying experience by feeling the right things. BO often does that! In fact, BO’s usual quick pick-me-up therapy involves going to a pharmacy and buying face wash or shampoo or lotion or some such wonder good.).

Watch this space for Part II, III and IV *giggles* Happy Shopping to you too! Now, run along!

And she comes. Again.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Since this is the only place where I can talk and nobody interrupts me, I shall indulge in a little gloating. But well, even though I know it would be absolutely delightful for you to read volumes on how awesome I am, I shall act pricey and not write one long epic on it. You ought to wait for it and it comes… bit by bit :) (that almost rhymed!)(I should like totally become a poet. See?! I’m so multitalented (1) )

So anyway, things have been up. Exactly what, cannot be divulged on a public forum (sidenote: and this is where people start paying attention to this post for hidden messages. *grins*). The point is that poor old BO’s life is no longer as dull as it used to be. Well, she can always say (like Anne did *sigh*) she lived it all out in her imagination, but it’s more than imagination. That reminds me, BO has been watching a LOT of Anne. Remember? That miniseries on Hallmark? Anne of Green Gables, The Sequel, The Continuing Story? Road to Avonlea on Kermit where Gus Pike, Felicity’s beau (gosh, I love that word. It’s so… elegant! Much classier than ‘boyfriend’. Yurgh.) goes away and meets with a tragedy but they’re reunited again when they just die of all that lowe? Well, nevermind. You MUST watch these on youtube or some such place. Absolutely worth it. It’s based in Prince Edward Island in Canada.OR, you could read the books! Easy peasy.

So when BO and the fam were out holidaying in Italy (yea bay-beh. Envy me.) (2) S and BO met two sisters who were taking a trip together. One was 59 and from Ohio and the other, 8 years younger (the ‘baby’ as described by the older one. really cute.) from Florida. They decided to go on a holiday with each other and spend some quality time. So, over dinner in Innsbruck (oh, there’s more, I promise) (3) they told S (the sis-tah, remember? The coolest of them all) and BO that someday, we’d also go on such a trip. BO and S looked at each other and just knew where they’d go together. *sigh*. Of COURSE. Prince Edward Island!

Visit this link for more information, now would you?

Prince Edward Island, Anne, her imagination and world, her strength and ideas, Gil, her bosom friend and kindred spirit Diana, Mathew and Marilla and even the annoying Rachel (AND Josie for that matter, but we would rather focus on the bright side, that you very much) are so very inspiring. I have never been touched to this extent by any work of fiction. *sigh*. BO’s all emotional now! BO and S are head over heels in love with the series and the feelings it inspires in them. Oh, and the soundtrack. Gorgeous. Never has any other piece of music uplifted my spirits to this extent. *sigh*. So. If you want to feel such immense joy, inspiration and the will to imagine your way through everything good and bad to make some extra magic happen, watch/read (I suggest watch! Because of the visual pleasure that the setting brings. It's warm, fragrant and delicious) Anne :)

Until next time!

Joy to the World

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

You MUST listen to this song which BO came across all thanks to Fish. It's most likely to make chills run down your spine. It's wonderful. Sigh.

Lyrics (for your convenience):
If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down the mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no makebelieving
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

Take it away
Don't look da-da-da down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through


Saturday, August 30, 2008

Now you know I have made it a point to do all the fun things that I like doing and doing new things, etc and all that jazz which makes people happy and which makes you want to run around singing ‘aaj main upar, aasman neeche’ type songs. You must know, dear intelligent and in-touch-with-your-soul reader, that we must not let what other people think is good or desirable affect what we want for ourselves. This becomes especially important if you’re marooned, somewhat, in a place full of 500 people who were very, very bright, interesting and had crazy different unique dreams in their heads before they landed up here. Now what happens to most people in my place of study, o discerning reader, is this. Some of them get ultra enthu to ‘kill the system’ and become all ‘studly’ and ‘awesome’ and worshippable by doing the things that most such worshippable people have done before. Follow precedent, basically, regardless of whether this is in unison with their crazy unique dream. Some think the system ‘sucks’, that it’s absolutely unfair and they don’t need to give a damn because that’s cool and they any way don’t care about their grades. They’re assured of a good job when they graduate from this place. Then there are some who’re just… there. They study, do their thing. Work when it’s time to work, chill when it’s time to chill. Form the bulk, basically. So there are the studs (including the almost-there studs) the theres and the this-place-sucks-so-I’m-going-to-dope-my-way-out-of-its. Now, there are also some people who’re in touch with their subconscious and so happily live happy lives dreaming about wonderful things and making them happen and do make them happen, etc.. Now, the best part is that these are some people who could’ve easily been a part of the theres but because they truly love their life, they vibrate at such a high frequency that people stop and take note of them. Well, most people do, barring some perhaps who’re so obsessed with doing the right stuff that they just forget to live their life.

So. Now, I’m not passing any value judgment or saying one is better than the other. All I’m saying is this. Why should we let other people’s dreams become our dreams? Why should A’s dreams be better than my dreams? Why should I care about whether people think I’m doing a better job of my life? Think about the enlightened ones I mentioned in the previous paragraph. We do take note and salute them in our minds and hope we could be as happy as them.

Then there are some cliquish people who think that the ‘best thing is do is ____’. Excuse me? Please add a ‘for me’ in there somewhere. You can’t decide what the best thing for XYZ to do is. And even if you think activity A is better than activity B, it’s only what you think and that perception is based on what your experience has been with activities A and B. Right? Right. So you don’t go around crowing one thing the most ‘studly’ thing to do, because honestly, it’s not that tough and doesn’t take an Einstein. And would only Einstein-ish things be worthwhile? Everything one does requires a certain kind of Einstein. Why should one type of Einstein be better than the other? Those who know what I’m talking about also know that when you portray yourself to others, you shouldn’t come across as a someone obsessed with one kind of Einstein. Einstein himself was not obsessed with one thing! Nor was Leo, nor was Newton, nor was or is anybody at all who is worth knowing and learning things from. If everyone just let themselves be and did everything for the kicks of it, without really thinking about how awesome it makes them in others’ eyes, then everyone would be studly. So status quo is this. Everyone here is still very very bright, except, some have progressed to being tube lights who’re in series resistance and glow very brightly when the voltage is high and because the voltage is high; and there are some very few who’re in parallel connection who glow brightly regardless of whether the others in the connection glow brightly or not. They really don’t care. And they’re the happiest of them all.

It’s just that you learn about the best and the worst in people only in certain circumstances, and the happy enlightened ones don’t really care about how well others are doing. You can’t keep measuring yourself against this scale which consists of the achievements/failures of others. It’s incredibly difficult for us to do that here, but I think that’s why we’ve all come to this place. I guess most of us are in the ‘temperance’ phase of our tarot-story-lives. You’ve got to keep going through it, till you learn the lesson :)

So just do your thing and don’t measure yourself against any such scale, alright? Please. Because you’re a lovely, beautiful, intelligent, creative and happy person. And X’s doing cool things doesn’t make you uncool. You’re cool yourself if you just do your thing. And I’m telling myself all of this more than anyone else, so PEACE! And yes, some of it is directed towards the general universe at large. Thank you very much, and PEACE, again!

Writing About Writing

Monday, August 25, 2008

Right. So it’s been long. I’ve been doing a lot of things, but no, I don’t intend to ignore this blog. Not at all. I have been writing. It’s just that I don’t think I’d want to publish that :) I think I should probably spend time reflecting on why this blog was started in the first place and trace (un-boringly, I promise!) its journey. Well, it was started when BO wanted to tell someone about something but didn’t want to do anything specific in that regard. So she started blogging! She was more or less anonymous that time and nobody really read it. BO led a double life for about a year or more. By then she had ‘blog friends’ who later became friends. She also happened to bump into a person she technically knew, but didn’t really know through blogosphere who she loves talking to. BO would then write about funny things that happened to creatures like Abhu, TC, the weird sisters and suchlike. BO misses car trips to BJB Jr College and stuffing herself with 2 half plates of BJB chaat and then proceeding to Vinay and stuffing herself more. With Abhu, of course. Those were fun times! And, Monkey! Jeez, Monkey and his escapades. Abhu, TC and BO led wildly interesting lives back then. BO even had a stalker (ok, this is the scary part) back then at her tutorial. Quite a freak! And ‘counselling’ with Monkey during rainy afternoons when Monkey would confide in Abhu and BO about all this astrological shortcomings and frustrations in life :) Those were fun times.

Anyhow. Moving on. Then BO came to law school. She ignored this blog for almost a year. But then again, she came right back in full vigour! Now she’s been reduced to publishing stories on the loons here. But she’s scared of divulging too many stories about them because of the lack of anonymity and the possibility if this turning into a ‘goss blog’. So. BO can’t talk about funny stories about her loons. And she can’t possibly keep writing about herself. So what DOES she write about? She writes about what to write about. Like this post. Smart, innit? Anything to keep the ball rolling, bay-beh.

One fun snippet. BO has been taken over by the dark side- i.e. SPW and Smimp. And Fish, for that matter. They are in LOVE with that immensely shady-sexist-senseless-idiotic-nonsensical-crappy song called ‘Ey Hip Hopper’. BO hated it for the longest time ever, however, about 3 days back, she found herself humming the tune. It was earth shattering. Really. BO has no faith in herself now :)

BO also calls for applications from people who wouldn’t mind giving BO guitar lessons. Thank you very much.

Also, is BO funny? Hmm?

Hottie- Hottie is well, hottie. She was the resident hottie of my floor when we were on the same floor. BlogOwner now sorely misses going to her room, going through the 500 books that she’d be reading at the same time and telling her how hot she is. Hottie was BO’s most special person because they used to work out together. However, Hottie ditched her for speed walking every walking with other workout buddies. Fine *in that tone* But BO still loves Hottie!

Kan Kan- Can Can is actually the name of a move which cabaret performers do. It’s also the name of a specific exercise in pilates (which, by the way, totally rocks). But that’s not why Kan Kan is called Kan Kan. Kan Kan, quite uncannily (heh) has the same ring to it as Bam Bam. Kan Kan is a sweet little Aquarian who has been debating much too much of late and gives BO a complex! Kan Kan can cannily canter around acad. Actually it’s not a matter of can. She does it. I just wanted to play around with the cans *giggles*

Bin- Bin is the lover of pink and orange. When she falls asleep in class, Fish and BO look at each other and mentally decide that it’s now legitimate to fall asleep because The Bin is asleep. Guess who this is. Clue: She loves papsi and writes pruhjeckts.

BlogOwner has been feeling rather important of late. She is actually a senior in college. That’s just it. People now come to her for gyaan. She is helping people with project writing- not that that’s a great thing, but still! Ok, this is not interesting. My dreams of being a top class carrom player some day are probably more entertaining. Nay. What would I want to read in this post after, say, 2 years when I’m looking back? I’d want to recall fun moments.

It’s generally difficult to record them these days because there are just too many. A lot of those moments involve Funtan and BO calling each other ‘funny’ (the most common message sent by/to them is “you’re too funny” even though it may be out of context, because that statement is always true) and breaking into peals of laughter. Some were spent having nice long gtalk conversations with Guru on the most interesting things that people generally don’t know about either of them. Some of these moments also include Bam Bam cracking mean jokes on poor little BO, who takes it all too well and doesn’t say a thing. They’re funny but at times BO certainly wishes she could like propel Bam Bam at a velocity greater than escape velocity and send him off! For good! Fish and BO are almost always together which implies that Fish is automatically a part of all this. However, at times BO likes spending zen-alone-time when she only listens to her favourite music and thinks about nothing at all. She also talks to herself, but that she has always been doing. This once, ORPAR caught her talking to herself in class and messaged her to notify her of the fact that it is very noticeable! BO has often been caught off-guard when she’s happily walking towards her room, thinking she’s the only one around, when suddenly she notices one of the ammas or a senior around. BO could just evaporate at that instant. It’s that embarrassing! But it can’t be helped.

BO is too cool and has bought shiny (not really, it’s plastic) new pink earphones which have this funky clip-on utility. She still doesn’t know what the point of being able to clip the two earphones to each other could be, but she’s still excited. And they do NOT look like an eight year old’s property. They are very matured and funky. Thank you very much.

Oh, and BO bought a new phone! With golden thingies! With cute little concentric semi circular stuff! Yeay! But for some strange reason, she’s feeling bad about leaving her old phone which had an excellent camera and never broke even after being dropped like some 3897064 times. Good phone.

Ok, that’s it. Off you go!

The New OCD- Obssessive Compulsive Debating

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

What is this nonsense? Coming, reading, deriving joy by reading this blog which reeks of awesomeness and not even reciprocating by commenting or at least letting BlogOwner know you were here? Hmm? Leach! BO loves being loved. It’s a fact of every Libran’s life. This blog was born partly to gather a devoted group of BO’s followers who would eventually help her in her fantastic plans of world domination. Commenting should be mandatory. The browser shouldn’t shut before one leaves a comment. Or your comp should crash or something if you dare to leave before leaving your thoughts behind. I have no issues with Anon comments, ok?! I’m not too cool for them. So please, ok? Don’t be a ghost on this blog.

Now, moving on to the substantive part of this post…

I have been debating obsessively. These days, I’m either debating, or thinking about debating or talking about debating. I’m a nocturnal debater, plus my debate buddies are also night people, so we debate after dinner. While I’m in class I think about debating. When it’s 6.00 pm, I start counting the hours before we start debating. I come back to the room and discuss the debate with Fish for two hours. Fish also debates. When I speak, I sound like I’m debating. When I’m consoling someone, I start off with “Ok, I have 3 points of rebuttal and 2 substantives. …” Ok, it’s not that extreme, but somewhat like that. When someone’s saying something I start thinking of points of rebuttal and mentally ask points of information.* Vague things have started making sense to me. I have started cracking debate jokes. For instance, a couple of us were chatting when Fish and I thought we should go back and resume working. So I said, “This house believes Sneha and Fish should go back” and started laughing. I have the natural urge to refer to people as ‘ladies and gentlemen’. I have an entire excellent quality notepad devoted for debate notes.# I have a debate pen. I have some specific lucky debate clothes. I have a debate hairstyle- pony with bangs towards the left. I have a sore throat because of excessive debating. Bam Bam says his throat is on the verge of getting sore and it is in such a condition when it sounds the best and debates like a maniac, which he does ordinarily as well. He seemed absolutely kicked about it and said he generally talks so much when his throat is such because he thinks he sounds absolutely hot this way, he eventually necessarily ruins his throat. Further, debating has started giving me a high even though I lose most of my matches. It’s like therapy. When I’m in class, I think about how I want to do nothing else but debate. Chill or debate. The only two things I feel like doing these days. What is wrong with me?!?!

*Well, this is also due to my Libran nature.

#Which other people constantly borrow sheets from. Hmph.

The Loons

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Yes, this is the long overdue post on the many loons in my life. In my current life. Now, why is this post important slash entertaining slash worth your time or mine? It is important because there are several loons and it is absolutely essential to record a post on them for future reference and so that none of you lovely, intelligent readers with excellent memories forget who these illustrious beings are. After all, if they’re featuring on this blog, they must be special, else why would BlogOwner, who is a rather bizzy person want to write about them or even mention them? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, these are indeed loons of the highest order, hence. Not that BO thinks and writes only about loons, but given the environment she is now, it is mostly this kind of creatures that she lives with, hence this indelible mark on her mind and soul.

In no specific order regarding love, affection, etc., (at all!) (whoever popped in my head, was written about), here they go!

1. Fish- Fish is, well, the fish. Her moniker is such because she’s the last sign on the Zodiac and because there generally is a fishy feel about everything she does. Fish, as her name suggests is generally good when served in certain dishes, but she can also have too many thorny bones if you don’t get the right piece. She is slimy, but that is only before you remove her scales. Once those dreadful things are gone, she’s lean and clean.

2. Funtan- Funtan rhymes with his several other names, hence the moniker. BO couldn’t come up with anything else! He’s simply funny. Too funny. Be careful, he can make you laugh compulsively and not stop for a very, very long time. Hence, his alias is Funny Boy. He claims BO is funnier, but we all know that’s a lie. Polls regarding who’s funnier have been taken, where Funtan has won hands down. He has a special, innate talent for appointing himself as the ‘judge’ in the middle of an argument or mini-debate type thing and declare himself winner.

3. Screechy- Screechy is a ram but I didn’t want to call her ‘ram’ lest someone should confuse ram as in the Arian with Ram-Shyam Ram. Yurgh. Schreechy screeches. A lot. This should be enough. She is the ultimate entertainment but only when she’s not after your case. Thank you very much.

4. ORPAR- One of the Remnants of the Pure Aryan Race. She’s small but she’s a LOON. She loves dancing around in unmentionables and must not be angered. Even if she is angered, she must not be man-handled once angered. Man-handled includes every sense of the word. Every.

5. Smimp- Small + Imp = Smimp. She’s really small, and really impish. One of the high grade loons around. Smimp happens to be a fellow Libran though! BO is absolutely thrilled about the presence of one normal sign around herself, one of the very, very few. Sigh. Normal signs are almost a rarity around BO! Don’t ask me what ‘normal signs’ are. Please. It’s a subjective thing, you know.

6. SPW- Scary Photo Wali. Name is self explanatory, however, a clarification is necessary. She has only ONE scary photo where she looks like Gollum and BO has decided that the name must stay. Her characteristic features include her stunning ability to make funny faces and her blue pyjamas.

7. Pengy- I have written volumes on this character already, but in order to rightly serve the purpose of this post, I shall reiterate. She is one to be feared and cuddled. Yes, it’s a rather strange combination and I fail to understand how she manages both. She can make disgusting fish faces with Mr. Pengy and gross the people around out, which generally happens to be a large number of people because they do it in public places.

8. Bam Bam- I have suitably named him Bam Bam because when he gets seven minutes to talk, he sounds like a revolver shooting out tiny bits of acerbic, acidic, terribly mean yet funny (if the joke’s not on you) (actually, it’s funny even if it’s on you) words. You may feel like pinching his cheeks due to their extreme cuteness (and somewhat Libran appeal, even though he isn’t a Libran which BO now finds very hard to believe) when you see his baby pictures, but may get scared (and scarred*) in real life. Bam Bam seems to know everything about everything but BO suspects he really doesn’t know everything he seems to know.

9. The Guru- A certain synonym of his moniker is used rather liberally to refer to this man in PoS of late. A sport and immensely helpful when it comes to talking about his favourite intellectual sport, he and Bam Bam share a love-hate relationship. They can’t live with each other and can’t live without each other. They’re like this cute little married couple where each keeps joyously and shyly blaming the other for their faults. Except, these two aren’t particularly joyous or shy.

10. E-Man- If you’re looking for entertaining, funny stories about people you know and even about yourself, go to E-Man! *plays the He-Man tan na na na na music with E-Man instead of He-Man* E-Man often seems to be on the verge of screaming out on top of a cliff, “I have the power!” Hence, the moniker. E-Man’s characteristic features include his zombie like gait and his own way of narrowing his eyes and staring at you like a loon. Hence he’s perfect for this post.

Ok 10 people. There are many more, though. But, rest with these 10 for now, will you? I must go and figure the rest out.

*Because he may flash his characteristic expression of extreme disgust and act all grumpy which would scar a gentle, loving, peaceful, harmonious being like you for life.

BlogOwner Rants About Happy Endings

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I’m all for happy endings. Now, tell me, what’s wrong with happy endings? That they aren’t real enough? Too fairytale-ish? They happen only in movies? What are we clashing on here? A) that happy endings are not possible in real life or B) you and I won’t have a happy ending?

I was watching Pretty Woman today and what struck me the most was that there actually are very few movies that make any sense at all and have a happy ending. A happy ending that is could be real. There are also very few books that seem to satisfy these criteria. Cynical writers? Or is it really so that happy endings are rare and hence we don’t write about it? Is it not so that we tend to write about that which is not or that what one wants or that which is, but with a certain degree of spin to it? What we are living, what is here and now is so difficult to write about. There is probably no novelty in that. Why would I want to read a book which describes, accurately and with every single detail, what it is to be Sneha and what it is to wake up at 8.20 am, shower at top-speed, rush to class, sleep (mentally) in class, have lunch, go to the library and work, ‘bond’ with people in the library, go back to the room at midnight and sleep? Well, I’d say that I would indeed read such a book if it were not written by me, which obviously wouldn’t happen because I wouldn’t do such a thing. But then again, I would read it to see my life, no, my daily chores (that’s not my life) through someone else’s eyes because there would certainly be some spin on it. It wouldn’t be what I live. And who else would read it? Nobody, except my stalker, if any, perhaps. And in any case, this wouldn’t be a book about what is, because it’s not written by me and nobody but I knows what is. So even if anybody else read it, it would be because it is not about what is. So either way I win. You get what I’m saying, don’t you?

Happy endings happen in real life. Now, there is really no ‘end’. Hence, there are no endings. Hence happy endings aren’t possible. What is possible is just, well, being happy. And that happens. So why are people saying all the time that happy endings are not real enough? Of course, they’re real if you assume there’s an end. This leads us to ask, what is an end? If we are to assume an end, then that end would be more of a turn or a culmination of certain events. There actually is a problem in the terminology and not in the idea itself. When two people fall in love and tell each other that, that’s a happy event, a happy turn, a happy end assuming both of them die that instant. Assuming they don't,they get married, that’s another happy turn. Then they have problems. They get, what is called, real. They take each other for granted. But they do come to some agreement at the end of each such set of events and live this way. Loving each other, hopefully. If they’ve managed to do that, then they’ve been happy. This brings us to the very definition of ‘happy’. What is being happy? I won’t define it, because it means something tangibly different to each one of us, but is the same in essence. A lot of people have tried, and failed, to define it. That’s not because – in the words of some idiot- that we’re not good enough to define what it is, but because the language we communicate in not equipped to define it. Everybody knows what it is and I say peace to that.

Anne of Green Gables is one movie, where there’s no such ‘end’. Anne and Gilbert do get married, but that’s only their happy turn, not their happy ending. When the knight in shining armour comes and rescues Vivian in Pretty Woman, it’s not the end, it’s the beginning of the story. A happy turn. So why is such a thing so unreal? We all get a taste of that feeling a lot many times in life. I’m sure you can recount at least 5 such turns which really made you feel that you’re special and that you’re you, a distinct soul in this sea of human beings, then why are happy turns, or if we can to accept the faulty terminology and proceed, happy endings unreal or rare? If it can happen to you, who may be at the most, say 24, 5 times already, then what makes you think happy endings aren’t possible? Why is pursuing your love so different from pursuing what you want in your work-life? I’ll tell you why. Because you value the former a little bit more. So you don’t want to make mistakes. But you know what? You have to go for it. You have to do as the 8 of coins says. You have to work towards it and glory will be yours. You will have a happy turn, a happy ending. And guess what, it’s not only you who wants that. The other person also wants it. It’s just so absolutely idiotic to not do anything about it and say happy endings are unreal and rare. Don’t be like Celine and the guy (I’ve forgotten his name) in Before Sunrise. Be like Edward and Vivian, like Anne and Gilbert, like Oliver and Jenny, like all those who loved love enough. You do not want to live all your life thinking “Oh, I should’ve done that, I should’ve tried that.” If Edward had not gone ahead in Pretty Woman and they’d have met after 10 years, they’d probably have been like the two in Before Sunset. Full of regret. Do you want that to happen to the story of your life? Or do you want your sequel to be like Anne and Gilbert’s where they don’t ‘live happily ever after’ because ‘ever after’ is not one day. They do live happily, yes. But they are not regretful. At the worst, they may fall out of love and become indifferent to each other. They may even start hating each other. Then, they’d think they rushed into it, or that they were foolish. But they wouldn’t regret not having done something. At the worst, they’d think they made a mistake. But they’ll certainly value their days of happiness because they did have that happy turn. They were happy at some point. It’s better to have that burst of happiness for a few days or months or years than not have it all AND have regrets. So even on a cost benefit analysis, going for it wins. Because this way, happy turns are guaranteed.

Please, do it, ok? Thanks. I had to say this.

Adoption and Pengy

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

There is a certain strange phenomenon which oft takes place at my place of study, law school (henceforth, PoS). People adopt other people as their ‘kids’. There are natural kids as well. First, there are rank kids, rank parents- rank genealogies. These are people who share the same rank in the entrance test conducted by PoS through which certain 80 victims are chosen to be tortured in a manner that you, oh innocent reader, cannot imagine. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t say this torture is bad or undesirable. This is the pain is pleasure kind of torture, if you know what I’m saying *sage like grin*Then there are roll kids and roll parents. Roll genealogies are rare because people are generally too lazy to calculate who their roll parent is.

The norm is to take your ‘kid’ out for lunch/dinner and ‘get to know’ him/her. It’s a very warm thing to do, especially in the kid’s first week at PoS when he’s all confused and harrowed and doesn’t know what to do types. Now I’ll tell you about my experience. My roll dad was taking me for lunch this one day but I had to cancel at the last minute because I had to attend a moot feedback session which basically consisted of a general 5 minute speech intended to encourage us first years to moot. So I missed that lunch. My rank dad (yea, I know, I have 2 dads. No mom.) tried scheduling lunch a zillion times in trimester I but it didn’t work out because either of us was always busy with something. So now the plan is that he’ll take me for lunch when I’m taking my kid. It’ll be like a Rank 6 family thing. Three Glorious Generations.

Now, people often adopt people- even people from their own batch. For fun. So this Virgo debate buddy of mine who I shall henceforth refer to as Pengy, the Penguin because she strongly resembles one (we have conducted surveys to affirm this) and very cutely flaps around while mumbling indecipherable noise type things, decided to adopt me. Now, Pengy had to take me out to seal our bond. So this once during a break between classes, Fish casually asked whether we could go out for dinner that night. Pengy and I were okay with that. Chick, a certain Scorpio friend who along with her roomie, Nepali, are the funniest people on my floor, was randomly roaming around looking lost and aimless. So Pengy asked her if she wanted to come along. Chick was game. So this is how it happened. We went to a lovely place called Casa Del Sol and if you’re in Bangalore you should definitely try it. It’s right above Casa Picola on Residency Road.

The four of us happened to have a moniker which was the name of a bird of some sort. Chick is chick. Pengy is well, a penguin. Fish looks like a duck and they say I look like a sparrow- small and chirpy. So we decided to call ourselves the Birdies or the Avian Society. The mandate of the Avian Society is to try new and jazzy restaurants in Bangalore and pamper self by doing such. Birdies Dinner happens once a month.

You may brace yourself for my next post which will detail out the various monikers that some rather indescribable characters have. So I won’t get into that in this post. It’s funny how we rarely call each other by our name. Putting spins on people’s name is so much fun. Something special by each person, for each person *sigh* Okay, disregard that last sentence. I’m in one of those moods, you see.

BlogOwner's Happiness and Movies

Monday, June 16, 2008

After a long drawn conversation with S (the sis-tah, remember?) which basically revolved around BlogOwner’s happiness (yes, she’s slightly self-obsessed) it has been decided that the mandate of this blog shall be upheld and it will be used as a place to make fun of all the serious things that happen to BlogOwner as she goes about doing her thing. Some news that you, as an inquisitive reader, might want to updated on:

1. BlogOwner has resumed her pilates sessions. Now, now, for the uninitiated, Pilates is NOT some sort of a coffee blend and it’s NOT pronounced as pie-lates. It’s pi (as in timid)-lah-tays. Thank you very much. It is a form of exercise which is usually practised by ballet dancers and suchlike who need strength in their core, need to be able to balance while performing and need long, lean muscles. Well, heh, BO is neither a ballet dancer nor does she have long, lean muscles *sigh* however, she will practise pilates till she gets them. Do not snigger the way S does! I shall pursue this cause with passion. Thank you very much.

2. She’s been watching movies obsessively. The ones that she’s seen of late are-

1. The Mistress of Spices- It was quite terrible, to put it in mild terms. BO loved the sarees Ash wore, though. They were simple and beautiful- quite like Mrs. Gandhi’s. BO loves her sarees as well. Don’t you think they’re gorgeous? BO would kill to get those sarees.

2. The Graduate- Awesomeness oozing from every frame.

3. Four Weddings and a Funeral- Bleh. Not funny.

4. Rounders- Very interesting movie. BO got all excited about it after streaming and watching it at some 4 in the morning. So she wikied Texas Hold ‘Em and is now all inspired to become a poker champion. Must watch! In fact, BO watched it after it was highly recommended by someone.

5. Little Miss Sunshine- BO fails to understand why it inspires the oh-my-god-this-is-so-cute feeling. It certainly did not succeed in making BO, who happens to be a soft-hearted, harmless type creature who cries at the end of Meg Ryan movies, feel that way. Quite a disappointment. She did like Twain’s character though.

6. Love Story- Really, really, really….. (to infinity) nice. Much better than the book, in BO’s humble opinion.

7. The Pianist- Good movie. Mild, yet leaves an impact.

8. The Devil Wears Prada- Good chick flick. Really entertaining. S recently told BO that she (i.e. BO) looks thin and BO reacted just the way Emily did. BO likes Emily!

9. Night at the Museum- Funny. Loved the “Hey octavus/octopus/whatever.” “It’s Octavius.” bit! Octavius was obviously BO’s favourite!

10. Before Sunrise- Too good. Perfect BO flick. She totally related to Celine and agreed with almost everything she said in the movie.

11. Before Sunset- The sequel to #10. Wonderful. BO is now suppressing the extremely strong urge to discuss it here so that it doesn’t spoil the movies for you. Absolutely BO type flicks, these two, I tell you!

12. Half of Across the Universe + Half of Thank You for Smoking- Yes, they do not make one whole movie, but still. BO loved both of them till they went off and made her sad. Now she shall stream them online and finish watching them.

13. First 15 minutes of Trainspotting- Absolutely gross. Couldn’t get past 15 minutes. Why subject self to such unpleasantness?

14. Father of the Bride- For the nth time. Good fun and really funny. BO loves Steve Martin.

15. When Harry Met Sally- For the mth time. Love love love. However, BO’s favourite Meg Ryan movie is Sleepless in Seattle.

Well, BO might have seen another movie or two which she cannot remember now. Yes, it’s become quite an obsession especially when one considers the fact that BO had never been a movie-person. She can’t sit through movies. She gets restless and keeps looking at her watch. That still happens though. She keeps checking how much of the movie is left.

Fish has been pestering poor BO to ‘watch a movie with her’. There are certain logistical constraints which Fish refuses to acknowledge. For instance, one can plug only ONE pair of earphones at a time. How are 2 pairs of ears supposed to share that? Further, BO likes watching movies alone. Peacefully. Also, Fish loves those scary thriller morbid terrifying screech-scream-inducing movies. On the other hand, BO loves anything that’s NOT that. Not that she doesn’t like thrillers and suchlike, but she simply prefers happy and/or interesting ones, not necessarily romcoms. BO is NOT a sucker for only romcoms. Thank you very much. So Fish, dearie, BO must break your heart. We can always go shopping together, right?

3. BO wants to listen to some good, fresh music. Please suggest your all-time-favourite type music.

4. BO loves Simon and Garfunkel.

5. BO loves blogging! Well, this isn’t news, but BO simply wanted to state this.

Until next time, most intelligent reader (since you chose to read this), may all be well with you!

Are you one of us?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Have you ever been ashamed to admit you like a particular song because it’s uncool or doesn’t fit with your image? Do you secretly listen to songs that you know your friends will make fun of (even though they may be liking it as well, secretly, of course)? Do you have hidden folders on your computer containing Himesh Reshammiya music?* If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then, join the club! You aren’t alone, sweetie#. We’re with you *nods with copious amounts of solidarity pouring out* So, the other day I was listening to ‘Tum se hi’ from Jab We Met, which by the way, was a shockingly sweet movie (I never thought I’d actually watch and like a Kareena flick) (using earphones) and fish admitted that she hates to admit it but she likes the song as well and we had a nice, long discourse on the phenomenon of secretly liking songs that one isn’t generally allowed to like. You know. It was then that this story about a friend of mine who had renamed certain himesh songs on his itunes playlist came up! I mean, okay, you don’t want the whole world to know you’re a fan of the Nasal Twang King, for obvious reasons (which is, the fear of having your sanity and the well-being of your sensory receptors doubted) but this is just the limit! I mean some sense of security and normalcy must prevail!

So what you do when you’re quietly listening to some such apparently must-not-be-liked-by-normal-people song and a human being appears out of nowhere, hijacks your laptop and opens your itunes (or WMP or whatever)(or takes away your earphones or exhibits some such behaviour- you get the drift, right?)? Heart comes to mouth, fear comes rushing like you’ve got gifts from US for it (ok, sad joke.) etc.? Worry not. Learned BlogOwner will give you sound advice. You should pretend that the song you’re listening to is indeed a wonderful piece and wonder out loud how they never heard such a gem and prod them to listen to it (well, to be fair, it wouldn’t be pretending because in your opinion, it IS a good piece and that’s why you’re listening to it). It’s at least better than frantically changing the song every time you sense human infrared radiations. Further, it could possibly get that person to listen to that track and perhaps s/he might even like it! Then you both could secretly like it! Well, it wouldn’t be much of a secret if everyone did this. That would be great, if we humans weren’t this judgemental, won’t it? Well, not really. It keeps things spicy. :)

P.S.- Why are slam books called slam books? Just a question.

*I SWEAR I don’t.

#Pardon me for the annoying saccharine language, but it just fits. Hence.

Rajasthani Method of Torture

Friday, February 15, 2008

After the immense success of the Chinese Method of Torture, a certain friend Bobgem*, Mother G, I and several other companions who have been of late subjected to the practices mentioned herein, have devised the Rajasthani Method of Torture. It includes the following.

  1. Feed the subject (‘it’ henceforth, since it would have lost all human semblance after a few of these excellent tricks have been applied upon the subject) ONLY dry, hard, rough and tough makkai ki roti(MKR) for 3 days in a row, twice each day. As an accompaniment, serve watery dal which has 5 spoons of chilly powder for every 100 ml of water, such that it conveniently burns the subject’s lips.
  2. Don’t let it use the loo for 2 days in a row.
  3. Let it wander off in a desert jungle devoid of any vegetation in search of ‘bushes’ to relieve itself, which by now it calls ‘loo’.
  4. Load it with 40 kg of luggage and make it travel 10 hours a night in rickety old buses. Make it change 4 buses in a single night.
  5. Leave the subject stranded in the middle of nowhere with that entire luggage in 3 degree celcius frigid weather at 5 a.m., 3 days’ worth MKR in its tummy and 10 other random law schoolites to wait for some bus or truck or jeep or anything that moves on wheels which could probably come any time then.
  6. Do not let the subject bathe more than once in 3-4 days.
  7. Let it bathe in an open tent with ice cold water and have another similar creature posted at one of the flaps to ‘guard’ in order to create a false sense of security in the mind of the subject. Annoy the Wind God in some way or the other and make him/her send strong gusts of wind such that the guard is rendered useless and the tent-flaps start flying open in every possible direction while subject is bathing. Better yet, send a random kid to walk in on the subject who’d (kid) later come out and report to her friend, “Arre, tu yahan hai. Mujhe laga tu andar thi, lekin andar toh ek didi nikli!

Oh, you’re here. I thought you were in, but there was some didi inside!

  1. Keep the subject so far away from civilisation that it would come up with come up with corny distortions of even cornier movie lines such as “Ek sip Pepsi, City Girls ke gale ka haar hota hai. Ek sip Pepsi”.
  2. Make it sleep in a 8 ft by 8 ft room with 6 others, draped in 3 layers of blankets. Even better, make it sleep between a mal boy from its class and a girl who decides to sit on top of her neighbour’s head in the middle of the night thinking it’s a roll of bedsheet or toilet paper or some such thing.
  3. Make the subject run out of toilet paper.
  4. Make the subject climb random hills in random villages to see random temples in an absolutely random fashion and offer NO explanation to the subject. That is where the element of torture lies. *evil grin*
  5. Again, feed the subject ample MKR. This is the BEST part of it all. Watch closely the way in which the subject pretends to relish it in order to not offend its hosts. It’s the most beautiful thing to watch if you have sadistic tendencies.
  6. Make it stand in front of a mirror after subjecting the subject to all this for 16 days.

It is hoped that torturers and suchlike will soon adopt our system and experiment it on their own victims. It has been a great pleasure in developing this fool-proof system which ensures everything that you need. Personal experience says this 13 pronged approach# will definitely drive your victim to unimaginable levels of insanity. Make the most of it.

* I was confused between Bobgem and Gembob as a moniker for this Gemini but decided the former sounds more dignified. I know it’s ironical that a moniker should sound dignified, but what the heck, Gembob sounds outright ridiculous!

# 13 is a lucky number!

Important Note: This post is purely for the readers’ and the writer’s amusement. Rajasthan is an amazing place and its people are brilliant. Peace!

Keeping the interest of the bored, the lazy and all those who seek salvage from this unreal real world* with a bit of humour from someone else’s life (because it’s always easier to laugh at another’s life) in mind, BlogOwner (BO) has decided to revive, no, resurrect (the more powerful the expression, the better) this blog. Well, this blog has been a place where I laugh at events, rather, little things that were so mundane that they could only be laughed off, which weren’t necessarily funny but were made to entertain myself after it happened to me. As a person at work had remarked at my and a certain Aquarian’s (henceforth known as Mother G) laughing at the most tense of times during a particular exercise… “It’s nice to see how you can find humour in everything.”

And yes, I write utter rubbish.

* I’ve always felt my imaginary world is a lot more real than the real world. I’m often caught talking to myself, when I’m really not talking to myself but only doing something in my imaginary world, I get quite dazed about what is real and what was only my imagination.