Martyrs!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Blogowner(BO) and her sister(S) had never gone for a blood test. Naturally, they were scared to death at the thought of having a pointed object piercing their precious precious vein and sucking blood out of it. The poor creatures had not even been warned of the fact that they were going to be tortured in such a manner. The minute they woke up on Sunday morning, bright and fresh, ready to grab the sole copy of Life first and read all the gossip, they were greeted by their father’s upbeat voice urging them not to consume anything and to get ready soon so that they are on time to get their blood tested.

BO: *stopping midway with a bun in her hand which was steadily reaching her mouth* What? Are you serious? I don’t like jokes, you know. (BO is normally in an irritable mood in the morning i.e. before she is fed)

Dad: Of course I am serious beta! We have to get both of yours blood samples tested. Get ready quickly! Nana-nani also have to get theirs tested. So be quick!

BO: *with a look of horror* WHAT?!? But we weren’t told beforehand! I have other work!! *quickly thinking up excuses* My exams are starting tomorrow! I have to study for them. You want me to pass right?

Dad: Oh! It’ll hardly take an hour. We’ll be back soon. Now come fast. Iam taking the car out.

BO runs to have a quick disaster-management talk with S--

BO: *in a spy-like tone* What do we do?

S: I guess we have to go. After all the results are needed for some inportant documents or something.

BO: *a little abashed* Whatever. Iam giving blood only from my finger. They aren’t going to touch my vein!

On the way to the hospital, S made some rather insensitive recollection about how this once a nurse was very careless with dadi’s syringe or something and blood had started to come out in large amounts. At this, BO gulped so loudly that nana-nani thought there was a frog or something in the car.

After reaching the hospital, BO and S learnt that the room where their blood was to be collected in a department which was somewhat underground--

BO: *with look of fear* They do the blood-sucking business down in the dungeons so that the victims can’t run away!

S: Smart people, the architects!

BO: *getting nasty thoughts and visualising gory things* What if the needle doesn’t pierce the vein the first time? What if they keep poking till they locate the vein? What if it gets stuck in your vein? Who is going to take the blood, by the way?

Nani: The technician.

BO: *gulp**sweating copiously* A technician?!?! Isn’t the doctor supposed to do it? Technicians are supposed to repair TVs and all!

Nani: No beta. They are trained in all this. The doctor is busy with other things, you know.

BO: *on the verge of fainting* Er…….

At that fateful moment at which the world might have seen the dramatic swooning of BO, BO and co reached the waiting area where S and BO slumped on the chairs like zombies. S had suddenly picked up optimism and positive-thinking vibes from some unknown source—

BO: *blabbering like a lunatic* Okay, Dad will go first. Then nana-nani. Then I’ll go. You’ll go in the end. I don’t want to be the first person neither do I want to be the last. So this, according to me is the best possible sequence…..

S: *with gleaming eyes* Its okay. Don’t get so worked up. Think of it this way- if we can go through threading, then a little prick on the skin should be nothing. Right?

BO: *frowning* Er.. yea, I guess.. but threading is for beautifying purpose nah. The rewards are high! So that gives one the courage to sit through it.

S: *sounding irritated* Don’t think so much now!

Suddenly, they realized that someone had called out S’s name and that the others had already gotten their blood samples collected.

BO: Shit! Plan chaupat! Best of luck though!!

S: *giggles and gulps after giggling*

In no time, she was done and BO was to go in next!! BO entered the place. The spooky looking place. There was a chair which looked like a chair meant for electrocuting people. The technician asked her to sit down. She sat down. He got a red band and tied her upper arm with it. He asked her to make a fist out of her hand. She did so. She was looking the other way when he pierced her vein with the syringe. She didn’t even feel it! However, she could feel it as it was left in that manner for 3-4 seconds to collect some blood. Ick! She kept looking the other way as he removed the syringe and then drew a long breath.

Phew! The techie (BO had grown to like the fellow since he wasn’t a jerk and did his job well) put a cotton ball and asked her to fold her elbows till the blood clotted.

BO left the room with a wide smile on her face. She then met S who came rushing to her and ---

S: *looking concerned* Why did u scream like that?

BO: *genuinely shocked* Did I er… scream? I think not! I think you just heard me tell him to remove that thing quickly. Er.. I am surely didn’t scream!

After things finally seeped into BO’s and S’s thick skins, they realised that they were done with the ordeal! Yay!! This realisation was followed by a little victory jig by the two and they proclaimed themselves as true martyrs. Nana-nani and Dad looked concerned about their absurd behaviour. Then followed a little field-trip around the hospital to the BP-checking centre where everyone gladly got their BPs checked. Everything normal there. Except for the part where BO was referred to as a ‘child’ by the nurse. S’s BP was 110/70 and BO’s was 100/60. Dad seemed to be a little concerned over this difference since everybody thought BO and S were carbon copies of each other. The nurse dismissed all his apprehension by saying that this was ‘normal for children’. What-ever.

BO, S and co merrily drove back to rhapsodise about their conquest to mother. Mother was most pleased but started pestering BO to ‘eat more’ when she learnt BO’s sugar level was just at the lower boundry (76 to something is supposed to be normal. BO’s is 75.5). S was pretty shocked to learn that all her ‘levels’ were normal. She was expecting a low or high something. Strange, huh?

Well, after all this drama, BO and S were very pleased with themselves for having overcome this hurdle and hoped that their bloodtestophobia had gone forever and ever!

15 comments:

bhargav said...

hyperbole.........again.Its that or BO is seriously trypanophobic.I have been wondering whether it is within our bounds to express ourselves satistfactorily without accentuating our writing to the point of it appearing garish.If this is of any interest..........my attempt towards doing so failed...miserably

Sudeep said...

lol.. u are a child dear :P

when i had my appendicitis operation a trainee nurse had pierced me 3-4 times to locate the vein n then said ur veins are not gud enuf to show up (as if she had called n they failed to show up) n ltr her senior came n located in the first attempt

lol @ BO is normally in an irritable mood in the morning i.e. before she is fed

sneha said...

@bhargav- its NOT a hyperbole!! n iam NOT trypanophobic too!! iam just.. in the middle..it was the first time in my life (ie. after i became sensible enough to talk and stuff) that i was to get an injection of some sort. i haven't got ANY other injection otherwise! sis had still got injections in her mouth, so she was better of.. n waise bhi.. now ive been liberated from that fear!!

er.. LOL! hehehh

@sudeep- sheesh.. i guess i have to bear the 'child' tag for another year or so..:(

AND OH MY GOD!!! that poking around thing actually happened??!?! sheesh!! i was just freaking out and saying those things.. *gulp* poor you!

bhargav said...

in the middle??you mean are a half baked trypanophobic and an occasionally hyperbolic writer?lolz neways chuck it, my sparse grey cells are already working overtime to keep my senses in proper order and any attempt to bring them out for battle will be met with immediate mutiny.

sun4none said...

bravo bravo.. *clap clap*.. am proud of u kido.. all blood and no tears makes sneha a good girl :P

Macabreday said...

Nice post. Coming to think of it, i dont know my blood group yet. Never had the courage to get it tested. Even managed to faint at the dentist once, n am not so proud of it :)

sneha said...

@bhargav-(in a soothing ,calm) voice yes, these are the blessings that come with being an angelic balanced libran. *visulize golden halo*

@sun- thenku thenku. wherez my chocolate??

@mac- don't know your blood group yet?! anyway, i shouldn't be preaching..
dentist- ahhh.. i have some rather amusing stories from the destist's..

sun4none said...

sneha.. i've told div 2 send u the pack of toblerones she'd got for me.. so thy shall be reachin u anytime now :P

bhargav said...

you mean an angelic confused libran.*visualize derisive smile and a satanic gleam in the eye*

Macabreday said...

lets hear the dentist stories :)

sneha said...

@sun- cant stop salivating!

@bhargav-confused... well, er.. probably.. okay, yes!

@mac- *sighing* the thing is, BO was soo traumatized after 'certain' visits to the densist, they now remain as hazy visions in her memory which she doesn't wish to recall. she gets pretty upset and can start feeling the intruments in her mouth (by god! thats a badd feeling)whenever these visions come to her........

Divya said...

Toblerones?? Um... hmmm.. can i say the postman ate them all...??
Hey BO, hahahaha watta post!! Ludicrous...!!

Saltwater Blues said...

Hello Neha ... just wondering who this stranger is, who linked to my humble blog.

Cheers!

btw, I find Reese very pretty :)

sneha said...

@saltwater blues- i got to your blog from er.. somewhere and really liked all the haikus or poetry type thingies. lovely work! i didn't really have anything much to say that hadn't already been said, so i left without a word but kept the url!

ps. correction- its Sneha!

sun4none said...

saltwater's good haan! read her posts.. nice work :)